Friday, March 21, 2014

Circle of Life

Love, Loss and Life

Today would have been my 33rd wedding anniversary. Jeff and I were married over spring break in 1981. He was a second year medical student. I was working as a P.A. in Charleston, WV. We were young...life was exciting and we hit it together...full speed ahead. Over the next 30 years we had a family, developed his career as a radiologist and made our home in Tulsa, OK. I lost him in August 2012 to cancer. He was 55 years old. I miss him everyday.

Today I am in Charleston again only this time for the funeral of his only sister. She was 17 years older than Jeff and has had health issues for a long time. It will be quite an emotional day. I fly back to Tulsa EARLY (5:30 a.m.) tomorrow. Because it is spring break I was just lucky to get a flight. What a whirlwind trip. Lots of emotions. I spent last evening with my nieces. So glad I can be here to support them.

There is a circle of Life that keeps going even though we face hardships and losses. God sends us "Bright Lights" to illumiate the Dark Tunnels that we are going through. This little guy is shining example. Named after both of his grandfathers, Thomas Jeffrey, has unconditionally won the hearts of our family. Born over a month early, he is a fighter and a lover.

My youngest daughter, Kristy, or Auntie KK as we call her, is holding him proudly. Kristy is Jeff's legacy. She may look more like me but deep within she is her father's person. She followed his footsteps and is a physician. She is in the second year of her residency in Tulsa. Kristy has taught my a lot about love, faith and God's divine presence in our lives.

Jenny, mother of Ella and T.J., is my eldest daughter. She looks more like Jeff but has my heart and spirit. She is learning the ropes of having two small children and surviving without sleep. I am amazed at her strength. Jenny reminds me of an earlier time in my life facing all the things that young moms face on a daily basis. But as with all things this phase in the Circle of Life passes quickly too and there will be future challenges on a much larger scale.

And Ella....well, her world has been rocked and I do mean rocked. She has little brother on scene and life will never be the same again. Good...but not the same!! Ella has been the Shining Star in the darkness following Jeff's death. She has made me laugh over and over again with her antics. Nana and Ella are BFF's.

So had it not been for that wedding on March 21, 1981, I would not have all of this joy in my life today.

I thank you Lord for Jeff and the richness that he brought into my life. I thank you for family, children and grandchildren, siblings, cousins, nieces and nephews. My heart is sadden at the loss of Jeff and his sister, Toni Lee, but I know they are rejoicing in heaven with You Father. I pray that as we continue on this earth we will feel Your Presence among us, seek your will in our lives, and carry out the work that You have created uniquely for each of us for. May we always see you as the ultimate Light in the dark tunnel of this world and seek to follow the light.

MATTHEW 8:12

Again therefore Jesus spoke to them saying,

I am the light of the world; he who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.